You cannot prove your residence by merely showing us your driver's license or library card. No, being a Wisconsinite is much more than that. Here are 10 things you must do before we will consider you an official Wisconsin resident.
It takes a unique sort of person to take to living in Wisconsin. Once you get used to it, you wonder why you hadn't come here earlier, but it's understandable that newbies might find themselves a little off-kilter when they first change their address. We're a special brood up here in the Tundra and life as a 'Sconnie takes a little adjusting.
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Here are a few of the things you have to get comfortable with early on if you're going to hack it as a Wisconsinite:
What started as a Lenten traditional has pervaded the end of the work week year-round. Sure, they're more prevalent during Lent, but you can get some fried cod and potato pancakes on a Friday in pretty much every part of the state. It's might be a Wisconsin stereotype, but it's right on the money.
There's a whole host of other ones, but if you don't want to immediately stick out as an outsider, you have to pick up the lingo. Moving to Wisconsin requires a bit of a change in vernacular.
Yes you want to be out on the water. No you don't want the costs or headaches that come with owning a boat. This is the secret to your happiness. Wisconsin has 1,100 miles of Lake Michigan coastline. Combine that with Lake Superior and the 14,000 inland lakes and 7,446 streams and rivers and you see why this is on the list.
4. There are two seasons - Winter and Construction.
This is an old joke but it also rings true. We don't have a lot of warm weather and the harsh winters are tough on the roads. That means any time we're not coating the roads in salt, we're fixing them up and repairing the damage.
Just like the old joke about construction, the joke about waiting five minutes for the weather to change seems to hold true here as well. You'll never survive a Wisconsin winter without some really good base layers and any good 'Sconnie knows you need to be able to shed layers as the sun gets higher. The knowledge you gain in winter comes in handy for fall and spring cold snaps or those days where it starts off at 70 and ends around 40.
6. Your Bloody Mary will come with a lot of accessories - including a chaser.
We're pretty proud of our Bloody Mary skills up here, so learn how to make one if you ever plan to have folks over to watch the Packer game or if you tailgate before a Sunday Brewers game. The garnish doesn't have to be as ornate as some do, but even the simplest Wisconsin Bloody's come with a pickle, olive and celery. And you're doing to get a sidecar or chaser. Bonus points if it's a pony High Life. The beer is a perfect foil for the thick Bloody Mary. That other people don't do this baffles us.
Did you know that other people don't actually approximate road trips by time? It seems to be a strange Midwestern phenomenon that has to do with the fact that we probably aren't going to run into hours-long traffic jams. Whatever the reason, learn to understand that Madison is about 75 minutes from Milwaukee and not just 80 miles. We don't use mileage here.
Much like the boat suggestion earlier, in my opinion the best idea is to have a friend or family member with a Northwoods cabin. In the summer, you'll notice a lot of half-day Fridays as folks pack up their cars and head out of the city for the Northwoods.
This one could well be an addendum to #8. Because it won't just be Milwaukee or Madison folks you see on the road up north - it'll be folks from down south driving like they're still on the Dan Ryan as they "escape" to the peaceful north while making driving more stressful for everyone around them.
10. If it can be deep fried, we've probably already tried it.
You'll notice a distinct lack of cars on the road in this picture. If you ever really need to get some grocery shopping done quickly, head to the store after kickoff. I wouldn't go so far as to say that things shut down - I'm sure there are some people somewhere in the state that don't watch football. But Packers Sundays are as united as this state gets. The stores are empty. The roads are clear. The Packers are playing. Wisconsin stereotypes die hard.
It will only take one trip to the Summerfest grounds or Door County without a sweatshirt before you realize there's a distinct temperature drop when you're within a couple of miles of the Lake Michigan shoreline. When you're driving on I-94 east into downtown Milwaukee with the windows open, you can usually feel it around Miller Park or the Marquette campus. It rarely matters if you were sweating your patookus off during the day - when the sun goes down, things will get chilly.
Listen - whatever cheese you had before you moved here pales in comparison. Embrace your newfound Dairy State resident status and realize you now have permission to sample ALL THE CHEESE to find out which one you like best. And when you're done with that, you get to try all the fried cheese curds. Welcome! Good decision moving to Wisconsin. Your tastebuds are going to be SO happy!
Did you have to learn any quick lessons when you first moved here? Tell us about it in the comments!
It never fails. The first time the thermometer hovers near 50, we Wisconsinites go a little nuts. There's still snow on the ground in much of the state, but that one warm day is like the beacon we needed. There may be some cold and snow yet to come, but Spring is officially something we can believe in instead of a mythical idea that exists somewhere on the other side of five or so very cold, very snowy, very long months. Honestly, it'll probably still snow in May, but we don't even care. The lone warm day in late February or early March is honestly really just a giant tease, but we'll take it. We're longing for the sun and to get outside without having to spend 20 minutes putting on layers of clothes before we do. That first sign of Spring and we're ready to pack away the long underwear, put the shovel in the garage and never wear boots again. It's a false hope, of course, but right now, it's all we've got.
There's just something about the air through your hair and that freeing feeling of turning the music up and putting the windows down. Sure, I had the heat on at the same time and was wearing gloves, but the fresh air felt amazing and my dog was really happy.
In the Southern part of the state, our snow was all gone, so this was more likely than up where there was still plenty of slop that a biker wouldn't want to deal with. But there was the purr of plenty of motors this week.
Many folks don't let a little snow or freezing temperature stop them from grilling out, but for many, that first warm day is a beacon to the favorite cooking implement of Wisconsinites everywhere.
I absolutely hate a winter coat because while I need it outside, I'm warm and overdressed the second I step in anywhere. Running errands in winter is awful in all those layers. So the first thing that goes the second the weather warms up is my big coat.
6. Starts removing the winter essentials from your car.
Again, you'll probably totally need them again, but there's just something uplifting and symbolic about it. The ice scraper moves back to the trunk, the small closet's worth of clothes you keep in there just in case moves back inside. You're ready for summer!
By this time of year, all our houses need a good airing out and cracking that seal feels like the first time you've breathed fresh air in a year and a half.
Plenty of Wisconsinites hike and explore the state during the winter months, but for a lot of us, it's a bit like hibernation. That first warm day is time to put the dog on a leash and get out and remember what the world looks like beyond our car windows.
I wouldn't say we "miss" snow when it's mid-July, but we don't actually hate it as much as we let on. We're just kind of fed up with it by the time March gets here. But as the weather starts to warm, we definitely take a moment to enjoy that last bit of winter.
