Was that a snowflake? Oh my god, was that really a snowflake? Maybe I just have something in my eye. Oh no, wait, that's definitely a snowflake. WINTER IS COMING. Once you accept the cold hard fact that the chilly season is officially upon us, there are some thoughts that all Massachusetts residents are all too familiar with.
1. Oh $@*!
Where is global warming when I need it? Where?
2. It's so dark out. And only 4pm. I should have appreciated the sun more. Forgive me, sun.
3. Goodbye legs. See you in April.
And arms. And probably neck, too. On the positive side, my holiday love handles can hide out beneath these huge sweaters without anyone being the wiser.
4. I mean, I can definitely work off some of those Christmas cookies on the slopes.
5. Do I have enough salt? Is 150 bags of salt enough? I need to get more salt.
A slip and fall accident in the driveway is not how I want to leave this world.
6. I can't wait for everyone to suddenly forget how to drive.
Haven't you people ever seen snow before??? Does every good driver in the state just hibernate until spring???
7. I should trade in my Prius for a snowplow. Or a dog sled.
Sled dogs are noble creatures. I can name them after Santa's reindeer.
8. Does Dunkin Donuts deliver?
Because I'm pretty sure having to walk to the corner in this weather is against my constitutional rights.
9. This year, I'm going to be one of those people who runs no matter how cold and snowy it is. Because I'm committed to year-round fitness.
No I'm not. I'm going to watch those people from my car and call them crazy.
10. Oooooh, sledding! I forgot about sledding! I CAN'T WAIT FOR SLEDDING.
11. Though I also sort of hope it snows on Christmas and literally no other time.
12. Man, it's still 60 degrees out. There's no way this winter is going to be that bad.
Every. Single. Time.
13. After the first snowfall: Aww, look how pretty everything looks. It's like I'm in Frozen.
14. You know, winter here is actually pretty awesome.
...but seriously. This stuff better hurry up and melt.
Winters in Massachusetts can be rough. But it can also be a chance to cozy up to your loved ones, pour a hot drink, and have some frosty fun. It's all in how you approach the season! How many of these thoughts are accurate for you?
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